Empty Nestlings

Empty NestlingsI have empty nestlings. It has really been a long time since I have written anything and I must confess that writing something that does not involve the technical specifications of some piece of computer hardware or assisting someone solve an outstanding problem seems kind of foreign to me.

I did start a new job. Thank you very much. Just a few weeks in and for now it seems like the most fulfilling work I have ever done. I won’t go into any more details as they have quite the privacy and independence policy. Its a really big company and I am very lucky to have landed such a position.

No dear diary that I have neglected, this post is about learning something about ones self when you have that last child leaving you. I have three children all of differing ages and all far enough apart that they were always at differing stages of growth. I am dealing with feelings now that the youngest is prepping to move away that I never imagined I would feel.  What do my wife and I do now? I have been a parent since I was 20 years old, being 42 you can do the math.

I have always had messes to clean up and guidance to provide. I have never known a day without having to remind someone about their future or responsibilities to the family and themselves.  It is a very, very odd feeling.

I am simultaneously sad and overjoyed. My mind exceeds its bounds thinking of the futures we all have to look forward to and also laments the memories of what came before.  I just don’t know how to feel. Many parents say jokingly, as new parents do, that you “wish they had provided you with a manual on how to deal with these situations”. We all know as we knew then that there is no such thing and that no two children are alike.

What I wish right now is for a manual that tells you what to do with the rest of your life after child rearing.  I will be utterly lost without my boys. I know they are alive and well and off to new and wondrous things but I still miss them terribly.  I know I am not done being the guide and providing the advice but I already feel a slight twinge of uselessness creeping into my thoughts.

I will never stop being a parent. It has been one of the few amazing, mind altering, maturity inducing events of my life one I will forever cherish.

I love you Adam, Austin and Zack, forever and always.


About JayCooper

Puzzled WebWizard from Mount Juliet Tennessee. Married for 25+ years to a wonderful wife with three grown sons.

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