1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can, quickly. It’s rare. You cannot find it any other time of year except now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn...

10. Their small size makes them portable 09. Elves, the other, other white meat 08. Can conveniently use UPS for elf travel 07. OSHA doesn’t care how many elves you kill 06. Keeps him from ever having to buy knee pads 05. Has a deal with Nabisco to pick up Keebler lay-offs 04. Saves money by shopping in the kids section 03. 20 elves produce as much heat as one rick of wood. 02. Elves have to be at least 300 years old to retire. 01....

  It always amazes me the sheer number of theists that wander around all their lives oblivious to the fact that there are those of us that do not believe in gods. During the holidays this becomes especially noticeable. The question of where, when, how, or even IF a person should reveal their disbelief in gods is one which I find very important even apart from the issue of holidays and ritual celebrations. Most of the time, a person can go...

  When you have a family, the holidays usually end up being all about your children, family and friends more so than yourself.  I believe thats the way it really should be.  Although I don’t really enjoy torturing myself, I do like to force myself to realize that there are differences between what one wants and what one needs.  This all adds up to my usual mental list of the things I really WANT as opposed to what i will probably...

Ah Yes, it is that time of year again.  Time for the over commercialization of  hopes and dreams, time for the narcissist in all of us to rear its ugly head, time for that annual machine gun of anxiety attacks to besiege us every one.  Yes indeed folks, its CHRISTMAS time again.  I would like to stem this tide of heart attack inducing, mind numbingly tedious and over blown traditionalism with a small ray of sunshine, or perhaps a better...

  My wife found this on one of her favorite shopping sites.  www.fatwallet.com  She and I both thought it was cute so I now share with anyone reading this.  I wish everyone a great holiday. May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!         Share...