I love my job. I refer to it as my pet shark. It has been very good to me. Anyone that says they “can’t complain about their job” is either crazy or independently wealthy. I CAN complain about my job. I can complain about it all day long if I so choose. I try very hard every day not to complain because, as mentioned, it has been good to me. I find that much of the time it feels like what, I imagine, having a pet shark would feel like.

Each day I jump into the ocean that is my office with wide eyes and a decidedly positive attitude only to be chased, screaming, around by my shark all day. It is a voracious eater of both ideas and good intentions. It’s cold, dead, doll like eyes only see dollar signs and if I don’t feed it, it gets angry and will bite.

My shark has no understanding or concept of time. It has no use for explanations about limited resources or prioritizing. All it wants is to be fed. Sometimes in order to appease my shark I have to promise it meals that are almost impossible to procure, or that will not be available for weeks or months. Sometimes I even have to lie to my shark and tell it I can feed it things that don’t really exist.

My shark does not really care how I feel. Sometimes I think it cares and other times, in moments of clarity, I realize that if I were gone my shark would simply move on to another victim without so much as a goodbye. Sometimes it seems like I am caring for a whole pack of sharks and all of them need to be fed at once.

While I do not believe in magic, my shark seems to. It wants me to produce its meals out of thin air. It does not accept the words NO or IT CANNOT BE DONE. My shark expects the impossible every day. It does not believe in due process testing, quality assurance or even neatness, as long as it is being fed.

If my shark is unhappy with my care, it simply swims around me and gets fed somewhere else.

One day when my shark gets angry enough at me I am certain it will eat me and that will be the proverbial end.

What is your job like?