10. Their small size makes them portable 09. Elves, the other, other white meat 08. Can conveniently use UPS for elf travel 07. OSHA doesn’t care how many elves you kill 06. Keeps him from ever having to buy knee pads 05. Has a deal with Nabisco to pick up Keebler lay-offs 04. Saves money by shopping in the kids section 03. 20 elves produce as much heat as one rick of wood. 02. Elves have to be at least 300 years old to retire. 01....

  When you have a family, the holidays usually end up being all about your children, family and friends more so than yourself.  I believe thats the way it really should be.  Although I don’t really enjoy torturing myself, I do like to force myself to realize that there are differences between what one wants and what one needs.  This all adds up to my usual mental list of the things I really WANT as opposed to what i will probably...

Ah Yes, it is that time of year again.  Time for the over commercialization of  hopes and dreams, time for the narcissist in all of us to rear its ugly head, time for that annual machine gun of anxiety attacks to besiege us every one.  Yes indeed folks, its CHRISTMAS time again.  I would like to stem this tide of heart attack inducing, mind numbingly tedious and over blown traditionalism with a small ray of sunshine, or perhaps a better...

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    Every comic book hero worth his salt has an archenemy. Batman has the Joker, James Bond has Dr. No, Luke Skywalker has Darth Vader, and Santa Claus has Krampus. Wait a minute, Santa has an archenemy?      Krampus is one of those quirky survivals of a pagan tradition that preceded Christianity Much like Santa himself. Or Jesus Oops, did I say Jesus? Never mind. Santa Claus is a Christianization of a handful of traditional winter...